Dear American Economy;
I write to regretfully inform you that my service have been terminated. Unfortunately, a man who has never held a real job has decided my contribution to the American economic system is no longer necessary. It is no longer necessary because the United States government has outsourced the contributions of millions of hard working, job producing, income creating capitalist entrepreneurs like me. Allow me to say goodbye to some close friends.
Goodbye to all those in the service industry - the bartenders, the waitresses, barbers, and valets - I hoped you enjoyed my tips for your hard work . Fear not, my tips are no longer necessary as the government will pay for your student loans, healthcare, rent, and mortgage.
Goodbye to all those that I would have potentially hired – new employees, contractors, etc. Your services are no longer needed as I have no incentive to grow my business or build something. However, you will have health care (have patience with the waiting lists) and $13 more in your paycheck, plus you don’t have to pay your mortgage. Be well, spend it wisely - just do not invest it, there is no point – and enjoy your home.
Goodbye to the my fellow dreamers, thinkers, entrepreneurs, and innovators all of whom were smarter than me. Your vision taught me a lot. Your contributions to are nation are priceless. Sadly, the problems we sought to solve, the diseases we sought to cure, the improvements to peoples lives we sought to make, will be solved by the government. Heck, Barack is going to cure cancer, smoke if you got ‘em — he is.
Goodbye to those who would have benefited from the cures, products, and advancements those dreamers, thinkers, entrepreneurs, and innovators would have created. Fret not, however, enjoy your high speed train to Las Vegas, your newly paved highway, your extra $13 a week, and your 20% mortgages rates from runaway inflation.
Goodbye to our children’s future. However, we thank you for paying for high speed trains to Las Vegas, healthcare, and 20% mortgages rates. The deadbeats that don’t pay their bills thank you as well.
Thank you America for the opportunities you have given me. It was a heck of a run. Would the last capitalist please turn off the fluorescent energy saving lights?
Thank you,
Wally Zimolong, Esquire
American, Capitalist, and Entrepreneur.
P.S. Don’t get fooled again American, vote Republican in 2010.
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